Quick Hit #1

This sounds like something that might have come from Rodney Dangerfield. If I knew for sure, I'd be happy to give proper credit.

"At my age, I've given up sex in favor of eating. Now I can't even get into my own pants.!"

I Think This Has A Ring of Truth To It

The sweet, elderly sounding voice greeted the hospital receptionist on the phone: 'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?', she timidly asked. 'I'll be glad to help dear' the operator replied. What's the name and room number?' In a weak tremulous voice the caller said, 'Norma Findlay, Room 302.'

The operator replied, 'Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.' After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone and said, 'Good news. Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine. Her blood work just came back as normal and her Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday.'

The elderly caller said, 'Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news.' The operator replied, 'You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?'

The caller said, 'No, I 'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything!'

Wanted: New Software Tool

A logical derivative of 'spell check', I eagerly await the arrival of 'fact check'. Why? As the health care reform debate heats up, statistics and figures are repeated so often they become givens . . . . . regardless of their accuracy.

Consider this quip from an unknown source: "Did you know 46% of all statistics are made up on the spot?"